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In the beginning, Donna lived life simply as a housewife with 2.5 kids, a husband, a neurotic dog, and a house in the suburbs. One day she drove her white Volvo Station Wagon (with side curtain airbags, rated #1 in safety!) to the grocery store to buy her family a nutritious and delicious meal. She was distracted as she consulted her food pyramid guide and didn’t notice the group of Scientologists closing in on either side of the frozen foods aisle to kidnap her and take her away to their scientology lair. Her memories of this time are hazy but two years later, she managed to escape. Disoriented, she wandered around the city of Tacoma during the 2007 St. Patrick’s Day parade wearing only an apron and smacking people with a roll of quarters wrapped in a stocking. She was somehow caught up in a band of wily Fianna out celebrating the holiday. Weeks later, the Fianna realized Donna was still in their midst and taught her to skate. Since then, she has been perfecting her hip check and attempting to create a tasty whisky martini.
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