Cookies? Who doesn’t like Cookies?! This one’s sweet as pie.. Eh, you know what I mean.
Kill them with kindness was always her motto. She’s the kind of girl who gets knocked down and follows the old adage, ‘If at first you don’t succeed…’ try some cookies and milk, and then try, try again. Her preference being stale oreos and milk – yes, stale. Don’t knock it, until you try it. She also eats bbq for breakfast, but that’s another story. Some might say she’s a little unconventional.
That unconventional thinking’s what brought her to derby. From about the time she could walk, she could run. And she was fast! She used be the small one trying to keep up. You try to tell that one she can’t do something. And then get out of the way. No really… It’s good entertainment. She spent most of her days doing what she was told she couldn’t. Some good things. Some bad things. You can make your own assumptions. And please share!
It seems appropriate she was chosen for the Hellbound Homewreckers. When this one was just two, she was able to stop a Mack logging truck traveling at full speed, using only her feminine wiles. She could enlist an entire little league crowd to cheer her on, ‘Go honey! Go!’ while they watched the youngest, smallest, little girl on the all boys team round the bases. You might say she started blocking and jamming from day one. It was destiny.
She did have to toughen her persona for the sake of her derby image and learn a few aggressive moves. Hence, the Cookies’n’MILF. A.K.A: MOM I’D LIKE to FIGHT. Get your mind out of the gutter. As far as Derby chicks go, she’s one tough cookie and she can keep up with the best of ‘em. You try to tell her otherwise!
The preceeding is based on actual events. Only the names and places have been changed to preserve the identity of those involved. Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of events. This is a limited liability publication. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to edit them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; explicit lyrics; text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Reader assumes full responsibility. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Action figures sold separately.
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